It’s days like this that I wish I was a SAHM. {stay at home mom jsyk}. And I know this is a topic that seems to refresh itself in my mind from time to time. And I know that right now, I’m only feeling this way bc my lil one is sick. But hey…it’s the feeling I’m having.
So my lil man has a virus and has had it for over a week now. Last Monday I was scheduled off and it just turned out that last weekend he was starting to get sick. So no biggie, my day off to myself was no longer. I didn’t mind. My lil man was sick. Except that he’s been sick for over a full week now. Hubby has the kind of job that is more flexible than mine. His job also has two buckets for time off: vacation time and sick time. My job just has one whole bucket, and it’s just time off. However, when I call out for an unexpected reason, it’s a penalty to me. It messes up my bonus for the month. I can get a write-up if it happens too often within a time frame {which is where I stand now} and it goes in my HR file. So all week last week, hubby was able to stay home with him. Took him to the doctor and it’s a virus that has to work it’s way out. But his fever would go down and then shoot up. I’m talking about 105° for temps. This weekend he seems to be feeling his best so far, but not quite in the clear. He can’t go back to daycare until his temp is back down. They won’t give him meds unless it’s prescribed. So keeping something like a fever at bay, they wouldn’t do. Thankfully, today although waking up with his fever back high…it was nice to see it not so high. The morning temps have been averaging over 102° and this morning it was at 100°. So that’s a great sign. Praying it continues in the downward pattern.
So in all of this, I’m feeling very resentful of work. Like yeah, I know, I have a job to do. My attendance is vital. Yadda Yadda Yadda. But I’m being penalized for doing my first job: being a mommy. Sure it would be nice if my husband made a crap-load more money than he does. It would be nice if I didn’t have to work at all. But in this reality of mine…I have to work. It’s just that days like this,I wish I didn’t have to. It would be, me changing up maybe my home schedule to accommodate my sick child. But it wouldn’t throw a wrench in things, the way it is currently. Idk. I know this is the struggle that all moms have from both sides.
And I know it’s a struggle that I will continue to have. I’m just feeling some kinda way right now. Perhaps I should start playing the lottery, maybe I could win the jackpot and …yeah you know where that daydream is going to go. For now, I have to accept my reality. I know that I wouldn’t be so resentful if I was in a different position. Because I work in customer service, that’s why I get penalized. They need bodies on the phones. And because I’m trying to get into a new position, that’s what pisses me off the most. Because this will look bad on my HR file for missing work. But if I was in a diff position it wouldn’t penalize me in this way. O_o Oh well, what’s a girl to do? Other than keep it moving, keep the faith and know that I’m doing what’s right. I’m taking care of my son and everything else will just handle itself.
How often are you having days like this??
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