Sometimes it’s hard to determine if what you’re hearing is God speaking to you….
Now I think that I’ve spoken to God before, or not that, of course I have when I pray or just sometimes I talk to God, but I think I’ve heard Him speak before to me…I think.
Last night after working an overtime Monday and working out after coming home…my mind would not settle down to sleep last night. I couldn’t seem to shut it down. Usually when I need to sleep I will think about someone or a fantasy to help get me there right…however…something wouldn’t really let me. That something was gospel songs in my spirit. Of course now that I’m trying to recall it my mind eludes me…let’s think…
****let’s fast forward***
Today is Saturday 9/22/12 and I started this post over a week ago but got stumped bc for the life of me I couldn’t recall the gospel song…and I still can’t! lol But there’s more…
This week has been a trying week. Quite frankly many of my weeks and months have been very trying and I have been trying to stay off the blog if everything was going to be so negative. This week was bittersweet. One of my very good friends, my sis, finally got her answer to her prayers and got offered a job with better pay with another company. One of my other friends starts her new position with a different department this week. I’m still here. Still struggling, still wanting more.
About a month ago I was going thru this same thing, feeling like everybody is else is moving and I’m standing still. A friend encouraged me by reminding me that what they are doing is not what I want. If what I want is more for me in a different city why get upset about anything going on here right? Well that helped at that time. But now it was a bit more difficult because I am so unhappy with my current situation ya know?
When I came home from work after finding out that my friend was no longer going to be working with me, I was pretty down. I came in, kissed the kids and hubby and went to the bathroom. Immediately I started hearing the song “My Help” so loud playing in my head. I couldn’t stop crying and when I came out, I felt better. Didn’t know what I was gonna do, but I just felt more at peace.
I knew this song was out of Psalms but I wanted to find out exactly where. {Psalms 121} So yes, I’ve been reading the Bible. I’ve been reading some devotions. And I’ve been praying a lot more. And I realized that I hadn’t been doing too much praying lately. I mean I say my grace, I pray in the morning before I leave for work and I pray before I go to bed. But I’m talking about really praying, really coming to God. In a nutshell, I was, still am, feeling very lost. Feeling like I really don’t know what direction to take. I asked God to “nudge me” in the right direction. The next day I looked at the job posting board and found a rare great position, so I applied. I felt that was my nudge because it was the last day to apply and I of course hadn’t been looking locally because that wasn’t the plan…but we shall see. The following week I applied for another position here.
We shall see the outcome…but I am believing in God and having faith even when it’s difficult to see past my tears. To see past my circumstances. It’s now like two weeks since the original beginning of this post! smh I was actually coming to post something else, but it wouldn’t have made sense without this post first…so I guess I’ll come back to that later!
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