Close But No Cigar…Almost Manifesting

this is a long post…

I want to share my story about how I came very close to manifesting…but not quite close enough. And FYI… I write many of these LOA posts both to share with others but more so, for me to have a point of reference for myself. So yeah, I’ve been in a huge blog slump and I know why, but sometimes you gotta say “eff it, when I blog I feel better and I could use a whole lot of feeling better right about now.”

I started a post but never finished it and therefore never posted it…but in that post that may still get posted, I shared that I am still very much struggling with the passing of my sister in law. I mean, it’s a hurdle to say the least. Some days are okay and some days are awful and I just can’t seem to keep an emotional balance. But I am very much aware that I have been unhappy since the vacation from hell. And it’s hard to rise up out of that place. All it did was make me go backwards. I haven’t been manifesting {the stuff I want}. The car and the house are still out of my grasp and it sucks in a nutshell.

BUT!!! I wanted to share my almost manifestation. Because in the scheme of things… it was really big! And I want to share it before I forget it…let’s be honest here lol.

Ok so if you know me, or are a regular reader (even though I haven’t been a regular poster in a while, tsk tsk) then you know that I’ve wanted two things for a while now… my house and my Highlander. If you live in my neck of the woods and happen to be in the market for a used Toyota Highlander you may find, as I have, that these babies are highly popular, retain their value, and are very hard to find. I have been able to easily manifest Highlanders into my view. Every day I’m seeing them in the colors I want and body style and I say thank you every time. I won’t lie… seeing them and having one are two very different things. I enjoy seeing them, but I want one of my own!! It’s like having a hard time conceiving and everywhere you look you see pregnant women and mothers with infants and you can appreciate it but deep down you’re still saying “but where is mine?”

Last week I was at work and something just said inside “go to Pecheles Toyota website”. I did and I was pleasantly surprised that they had the EXACT Highlander that I want. Color, year, mileage, price all of it was screaming to me THIS IS YOUR CAR!!! With much excitement I filled out the online form to get more info and to let the dealership know I was very interested. I just knew this was right!!

The lady called me maybe within the hour and I didn’t answer because I was trying to take a car nap. She left me a message and called me again in another hour. Persistent little chick she was. It was then that I realized why… it was September 30^th. The last day of the month. So they were trying to move this inventory and I understand that, but I wasn’t really ready to buy that day. I hadn’t even contacted the Credit Union for my preapproval. The lady who called me seemed really nice and I felt comfortable. She led me to believe that they would do all the work with the Credit Union and that it would be easier to do that and come down that day to make the deal. I went against my original plan of having preapproval on my own time, and I texted DH and asked him his thoughts… he said “go for it” which was an even bigger sign to me!

I was very excited!! But the more excited I became about this finally happening, the more I got knots in my stomach…and I’m talking more than just I’m nervous for a job interview, which I get, even if I feel like I got it in the bag. So I chalked it up to just the way I am at the time. Let’s fast forward because you know I can ramble… I tell the lady I’ll be there at 6. I live in Greenville, this dealership is in Washington which is 20 minutes away AFTER I get out of rush hour traffic. As I’m headed to the dealership I’m thinking to myself… this car is filthy, you’re not even prepared to trade it right now.

Side Note: About a few weeks ago I decided to clean out my car to prepare it for trade. I started but I didn’t finish. I still had some stuff in the trunk and in the side pockets on the doors that I didn’t want to put into the new car and just hadn’t completed the task.

At 5:30 the lady calls me again… okay chick, I understand it’s the last day of the month and you have a quota and you’re trying to ensure that I’m coming in. Twenty minutes later, if that, not even 6 o’clock yet and this lady is calling me for maybe the 6^th or 7^thtime that day…but this time her bubbly demeanor is gone and she is putting on quite the show for me. A show that quite frankly, I’m not in the mood for. I’m out of my comfort zone and taking what I think is “inspired action.” She explains that her manager just informed her that the Highlander that was supposed to be sold to me, was just taken to New Bern about an hour earlier to be sold. “I am sooo sorry. I am sooo sick to my stomach right now.” she says. I said it’s okay and it just wasn’t meant to be today. Yes inside I’m pissed that I left work and didn’t make overtime money. Yes I’m pissed that I wasted gas and time to go and yes I’m pissed that my car is already crap and you just made me drive said crap out of town. That’s what I’m feeling, but it’s not what I’m saying. She’s begging me to come in and wants to know if there’s anything else I am interested in. I tell her that I am ONLY interested in a 2011-2013 Toyota Highlander. I could win the Powerball Jackpot at this second and you know what I want? A 2011-2013 Toyota Highlander.

I figured I’m already here, let me go in and give them my info and when what I want comes across their lot to contact me and we’ll go from there. This is where the story turns.

Now I’m dealing with the sales guy who happens to be friends with one of my friends I work with. I felt comfortable with him and he takes down all of my information. Why only a Highlander? Why those model years? I give him my reasons. Now, at the time that I pulled up I saw there was a Highlander on the lot… it was that very pretty blue color…almost like a Cerulean/Carolina Blue. I’ve seen them and I liked them but didn’t feel like the color suited me. I like the dark gray or white or silver options most. So of course this is the one he wants to show me. Of course this one wasn’t listed online. Of course it’s pretty as hell and of course I didn’t take a picture. To be honest, I thought about pulling out my phone and snapping a pic while he was getting stuff together but I couldn’t because inside my stomach was churning. The one thing I did notice when I looked at the window sticker was that there was no listed price RED FLAG #1 and that it was listed “as-is” with no manufacturer warranty RED FLAG #2. I let him go through his entire spiel… look at the engine the outside the inside and then the test drive.

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Did I mention that this beautiful, Red Flag wearing Highlander was a HYBRID??? Yes I was excited. Hybrids are hard to come by. Hybrids cost a boat-load up front but they’re amazing. This Hybrid Highlander was a 2010 and had less miles than the 2013 that brought me there, less by like 10,000. But that price… ouch… that price was for a HYBRID. A fully loaded Hybrid at that. Not the standard model of the 2013 I wanted. I’ll admit… I was intrigued…until we couldn’t bring the price down. I told the dude, look, my insides aren’t agreeing with this and I’m sorry we aren’t making a deal today. No I’m not putting money down. This is a car not a house. And Heck NAW am I going to FINANCE a 2010. We’re at the end of 2015 and I am not financing a 6 year old, technically about to be 7 year old vehicle. Now if I had cash then I would be writing a different post right now and quite frankly I did want it, but at the end of the day, this isn’t a shirt, it’s a car, and it just didn’t fit. You don’t buy a car the way you do a pair of jeans on sale that are a size or so too small but you buy them anyway because of the awesome deal. I had to accept that I was close, but no cigar and I had to let it go and if it is somehow meant to be in the future it will be.

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So very long post, but what did I learn from this experience is the key…a few things…

*it’s coming VERY SOON!!! I took inspired action and although I didn’t get the thing I wanted, I manifested an experience that I learned from. Yes I was bummed at first but I had to drive back in a monsoon of very strong and heavy rain. I was scarred as I drove back home and I was thankful for my car and not having to learn how to drive a new car in a really bad storm.

I also know it’s coming very soon because this was the first time I’ve actually been in a Toyota Highlander. I love it even more and feel even more a match to it. What if I had test drove it and realized that I didn’t like the way it drove or how any of it was inside? That would suck. Instead it is as if it’s proving to me that it’s coming, the right one is coming. Now that I’ve been able to feel what it feels like to be in the driver’s seat. The luxury of having all of these added features that I don’t currently have in my car. It’s coming very soon.

*my gut knows me. Turns out those knots in my tummy were trying to signal to me that it’s not quite right and I’m grateful that I’ve learned over time to listen to my gut more and more.

*learn from everything. I learned that everything is a teachable moment. I realized a couple of days later after being bummed on the inside but trying to act like it didn’t faze me on the outside, that it wasn’t what I said I wanted. Sure I would have loved to be in a new car but at what cost? I don’t want to be a slave to my job so I can make a car payment. I don’t buy/finance anything that is not under manufacturer warranty. I did not say I wanted a 2010 anything! That never was an option so why get pissed about not having that? I went through that experience and now I am better prepared for the next time I have to be in a dealership. I now know what a dealership is willing to give me on trade on the last day of the month and will use that information moving forward. I now know that although the idea of the Hybrid is awesome, me and my lead foot wouldn’t be the best match for the Hybrid.

The Universe has more than enough to go around!! When I’m seeing everybody else in a Highlander I tell myself that there is more than enough to go around. There is a Highlander for me and there’s no limitation. I can have what I want. Greater is coming.

In the meantime, I’m focusing on feeling good. Because things have been out of whack for me emotionally since July, I have a lot of work to do. But knowing that I came very close to manifesting what I want… I don’t look at as a negative… I look at as a very big positive. I am grateful for this experience and I’m excited for all that is to come!!!

I hope you stuck out this long post and I hope it helped you along on your LOA journey : )

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