The 15:30 Rule

I enjoy listening to talk radio in the car.  I made a quick run this evening to CVS and Mazatlan to get a couple of things and dinner because I’m too lazy this weekend to cook.  In doing so, I got a chance to  listen to a radio show I don’t usually hear because it comes on Sunday evenings.  Anyway, one of the topics hit home.  It was a question to the fellas…about how do they feel when their girl gains weight in the relationship.  One of the guys on the show called  it the 15 : 30 Rule.  If a girl gains 15lbs in the first 30 days he’s out.  lol Idk about 30 days, but  I totally understand.  Lord knows I do…


Story of my life.


So in all of the arguments that we do have, one argument that I absolutely cannot stand to hear is the weight argument.  Losing weight is hard as anybody who has had to lose weight knows.  What do you do when your partner is basically telling you that  they’re no longer attracted to you anymore because you’ve gained weight?  What do you do when your partner doesn’t say that in words but  says it in actions?  Would you rather them tell you or not say anything at all?


Many of us women go thru this sometime in our lives.  And it absolutely sucks!!!


But I understand.  Yeah it’s selfish for them to be that way, but look at it from the guy’s point of view.  Let’s say you were a size 6 when you met and maybe after a year you’re a size 12.  Size 12 isn’t awful.  But it’s double a size 6.  He’s supposed to be okay with that?  He’s supposed to enjoy the extra softness on your body?  Having a baby is one thing.  Celebrating your baby’s 3rd birthday and still looking the same as you did when the  baby was 6 weeks old is another thing.  We all know men are very visual creatures {porn anyone?} so why not at least put in a little effort for the poor guy?


I’m speaking to myself here.


My husband has made his voice be heard.  I know exactly how he feels unfortunately.  But can I blame the guy?  Yes I’m not as overweight as I was last year or the year before.  But I’m not happy with my body and neither is he.  When he looks at me, I can see the disappointment.  Why should he have to settle?  Jordan will be 4 this year and here I am still overweight.  What really sucks, is when I’m watching someone on youtube or on tv they will show celebs who have lost weight after having baby, and he says “why can’t you do that?”  Or when the Jennifer Hudson Weight Watchers commercial comes on and you ask me why don’t I try that?  Ouch.  I get it.  He’s trying to get me back to where I used to be and there’s no easy way to talk about it.  It always turns into an argument.  He leaves feeling like he can’t talk to me.  And I leave feeling fatter than I am and I go and stick my head back in the sand.


This has been my story for like a year.  The criticism/encouragement does the opposite of what he wants it to.  It makes me angry and makes me decide to do nothing.  It makes me go to the fridge and chug another soda.  It makes me devour a bag of Lay’s Barbecue Chips in one day.  Those damn tasty things.  I had already decided no more.  I had already decided that I’m getting the body I want come hell or  high water.  But listening to that conversation on the radio today kinda sealed the deal for me.  I know what I gotta do.


Stay tuned for my next Motivated Monday post.  I’ve done some retail shopping for myself lately {shocking I know} and it’s perfect for my Motivated Monday.  If you’re in the same boat as me, then know you’re not alone.  I don’t wanna say I’m doing it for him, because I’m not.  I’m doing it for me.  I’m doing it for clothes, shoes, the beach…so many reasons. He’s just on the list  somewhere too.  It’s the same thing as if you met your honey and he had some muscle definition, he was in shape and now he’s more  like a teddy bear.  It’s the exact same thing.