I have no excuses to give… I’ve just been lazy.
I haven’t been in the best of spaces as far as how I’ve been feeling lately and it’s easier not to blog then to blog and put all of my feelings on front street. But I miss my blog desperately. Enough is enough.
I’m being intentional about this thing. Like I am with many other aspects of my life.
Overhaul mode. That’s what’s going on.
Not happy with life? Change it. Do whatever you can to change it. That’s what I’m doing.
Is it the fact that I turn 32 in a little less than a month??? And I’m not where I want to be in life. Nowhere close.
Is it the fact that for months and months I’ve steadily gained weight and now I’m completely out of whack with my sleeping and wanting to eat right and workout but damn am I lazy? Well that doesn’t help things…
Is it the fact that when you start to look on the inside of you and you find things you don’t like, it makes you want to stop the process? Yeah I’m stepping on my own toes here…
Is it the fact that I’ve completely slacked on my coupon game which means I’m spending more money? And all I can think about is Christmas is coming, Christmas is Coming. So is Halloween. Jordan’s birthday. Thanksgiving. Black Friday. Stop. Don’t panic. Breathe.
So perhaps it’s all of the above plus more. I haven’t gone into kids stress, marriage stress, work stress….well that’s been me for the past couple of months. And instead of coming to what gives me solace, I retreated. When I reread my posts I don’t want to read the woe is me ones. I just don’t. It’s all a journey, I realize that, but I just don’t want to put that kind of energy out there. I want to focus on the positive, yet be honest with myself and my readers.
I don’t want to paint a picture that I am always happy and I don’t want to paint the picture that I am always sad and unsatisfied. So often we look at others and think, man I wish I had her life. She has such a beautiful home and family and she makes it look so perfect. Ask any blogger, youtuber or even celeb that you follow and they will tell you that the picture they paint isn’t their consistent reality. We all have chaos. We all feel like we’re failing miserably. We are all human. Did you hear that? I said human. And that means we aren’t perfect.
And with that last paragraph I am reminded of why I blog. I feel sooo much better now that I got that out.
Here’s to more posts! (imaginary wine glass in hand) and less being a lazy bones.