It has come to my realization that my dream…again…is being put on hold. And it has changed some too. This has been in my mind for awhile, so let’s start from the beginning shall we? So you have read my previous posts, where I’ve decided to tackle my dream of homeownership. And that’s still a dream that I want to achieve. But it looks like it’s farther off than I thought.
With my son being sick with pneumonia and an ear infection the other month, that really put a damper on my finances. I was out of work with him for two weeks, and I took one of those weeks unpaid under FMLA. That has really hurt my pocket. Not to mention, that it impacted my bonus from the previous month. So bottom line, is that my house fund has gotten a bit smaller. But that’s not what has made my plans change. Not entirely anyway.
During my time out with him, I watched a lot of tv. And I’m not sure if it was in that time or more recently, but I was watching HGTV and I don’t recall what show it was, maybe it was My First Place. But the first-time homebuyer was sharing their story about how they purchased the house, passed inspection and the next month they had to replace something. That got me to thinking. Not only do I not feel like I have the credit, or the down payment, available to buy a house. I don’t have the savings for it either. When you’re a homeowner, sure you can paint your own walls and make your own choices. But you also are the one who pays when something needs attending. The toilet leaks…that’s my money going to the plumber. Bottom line–I’m not ready.
To add to the decision, is the fact that, I really, truly, deep down, do not want to live in this city anymore. That’s why I didn’t want to buy a home here to begin with. But the more I think about buying here, the more I realize I would hate it. I am and have always been a city girl at heart. This city was supposed to be the skip, in the hop-skip-jump scenario. I have always known that I was going to live in a metropolitan city. I thought of moving back to Philly…I hate the cold. And as I got older, I realized that I really love North Carolina. It’s my home and I don’t want to leave the state.
A few years ago, shortly after our daughter was born, we took a little trip to Charlotte for the weekend We both fell in love with the city. It had always been the plan to go to Charlotte upon graduating from college. But life, as it tends to, had different plans. Aside from the fact that it is the largest city in North Carolina, it’s also the #2 financial city in the country. So that’s why I’ve always wanted to live in Charlotte is because that’s where the money is at for my degree field. It is my New York City.
To add chips to the fire, my opportunities for growth and advancement in my current area of my company, are just not there for me. I’m unhappy in so many ways and one thing that I’m not going to let just continue to happen, is me not maximize my potential. I will be 30 this year, it’s time to focus on my career and make it happen. So that means I have to leave. I have to move outside of this division, and on to where the money is. I have always seen myself as a corporate woman when I pictured myself after graduation. I’ve been looking at jobs, and salary ranges, and I’m absolutely short-changing myself by staying here. I want both a higher salary and job satisfaction. Currently, I have neither. But I’m in the door. And that’s what I wrote down when I asked for this job to come to me. I wanted my foot in the door to get a job in my field. Well my foot is in the door, now I need to go through this door to the next one.
It’s all of these things and more that are helping me to come to this decision. It’s that and the fact that a couple of co-workers have recently made these big kind of moves. And I don’t know, maybe it’s seeing them make these career changes, and taking the steps outside of the comfort zone, that are showing me that I can do it too. I don’t have to be stuck in Greenville anymore. I know I’m afraid to take risks, and that has bitten me in the but before when I was working at my first job out of college. So I talked it over with DH and we decided that this summer, I will start applying for a position in Charlotte. We have our beach vacation in late July, so I don’t want to really be in the predicament of trying to move during that time. I honestly wouldn’t be able to afford it. Thanks to my housing fund being used as mentioned earlier. It would be amazing if we could move before Bri starts the next school year, but as long as it happens I’m happy. I have a feeling it will be before the end of the year, because if you recall in a prior post…I don’t see us in this current home this Christmas 🙂
I’ve had my share of anxiety about the decision. It’s a big change and it makes me a bit scared. But if I don’t do it, I will hate myself for never trying. I have to make my life the way I want it to be. I’ve already told my parents and they’re encouraging and supportive. His mom, will come around eventually. But frankly, many families live far away from their parents. So yeah, I’ll miss the child-free weekends…and the comfort of the kids being able to see their grandparents somewhat frequently. But there’s skype and holidays and summer weeks spent with them. And I have to keep telling myself…it’s not like we’re moving overseas, just 3-4 hours away! For the things that I will miss, I remind myself I will gain so much. For example, we love the ECU Pirates and although I don’t currently go to games frequently, I had planned to start this season. But I also love the Carolina Panthers, so I’m definitely trading up! lol Sure it’ll be scary at first, I only know a couple of people in Charlotte, but I’m up for the adventure. We can create the life we want for our family. It will be amazing.
Since coming to the decision, my mind has never been so clear it’s kinda crazy. It’s hard to put into words, but when it comes to this subject of career and moving, etc…I’m at a complete calm. It feels like it’s right. Like it’s meant to be and because I’m flowing with it, there’s no ebb and flow I guess would be how I would say it. The water is still. I guess it’s how I felt when I was applying for colleges. Everyone says to apply to a few schools just in case you don’t get in your first choice. Yeah, I thought about that, but you know what…I applied to one school…the school I wanted…the school I knew without a doubt that I was attending…ECU. I am ready to start this next amazing chapter of my life. I know it’s my time to be happy and living the life that I have wanted and dreamed of. ♥
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